Saturday the 3rd was both the day of my Dad's memorial service and my birthday. Again, weird. It was okay with me, but certainly a birthday I will always remember. The memorial service was simple and special. At the birthday party afterwards I was surrounded with family and friends who love me; that was nice... There was cake and candles and singing and gifts. And I am so thankful for that. But I was exhausted and the undertone was emotional. But I guess that happens when you have a funeral and a birthday party in the same day. It's naturally inconsistent. I don't know. I don't have the right words. My heart is all mixed up.
That being said, it was a FUN weekend spent with my husband, mom, sister, and nephew. We shared memories. We laughed a lot. We drank. We ate non-stop. We shed some tears, but not too many. We played cards. I didn't run. I slept in and lounged around and ate bacon. I hadn't missed a run yet, and I figured that this was a significant enough life event to just take a day or three and rest and rehydrate and be present.
I am back to work now. Back at home. I guess things return to "normal", whatever that looks like now. For my everyday life, it doesn't mean much. Other than calling home and talking to him for a couple minutes, and giving him a kiss on the top of the head when I went home to visit, my dad wasn't a significant part of my everyday life for the last couple years. I don't really feel that different.... until I remember that I can't call and talk to him, and I won't see him in his chair when I go home, and he won't be telling me what to do and how to do it. That's the new normal, I guess.
No comments:
Post a Comment